Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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