Do vagina's smell?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
