there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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