He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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