My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
