it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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