White coat. Heels.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
