I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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