If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
