I looked at my own cervix.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
