this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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