Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
