the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
