So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
