plz talk dirty to me
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
