I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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