I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
