Whod you bang
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
