I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
