It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
