If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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