you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
