why do cheetos always look like penises
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize