Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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