Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
it glows. i had to have it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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