The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
