Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
