We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
