is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
