I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
