i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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