His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
