3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
