I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
