he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
