I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize