Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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