i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I am naked and annoyed.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
