Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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