After last night, I could never be a politician.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
