the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
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