Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dignity is for republicans.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
you made out with another girl for some wings
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
