My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
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