there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
