Its about making memories worth repressing
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
