I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
