I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
