i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
