i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
