i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
