booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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