Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
