whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
