apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We don't watch enough power rangers
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
