okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
it's not cheating when I paid for it
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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