All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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