based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
