dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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