I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
