is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
