Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
