i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
They took my balls.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
