three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
