Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
